Family

Family and Family Related Matters

Family Environments What Is A Real Man ? Sex Abortion Fathers and Children

Fathers and Children

Luke 18:15-17 " And they brought unto him also infants, that he would touch them: but when His disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein. "

Little people become big people.

Children are an investment in the future. They are our future.

This incident happened when Christ was 12 years old !

Luke 2:45-49 " And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him. And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions. And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers.

" And when they saw him, they were amazed: and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing. And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business? "

The right time to answer a child's question is when that question is asked.

Matthew 3:16-17 And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him: And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. "

" There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies " Winston Churchill

" The child is the father of the man." William Wordsworth

God Knows Best

Our Father knows what's best for us,
So why should we complain ...
We always want the sunshine,
But He knows there must be rain.

We love the sound of laughter
And the merriment of cheer;
But our hearts would lose their tenderness
If we never shed a tear.

Our Father tests us often
With suffering and with sorrow;
He tests us, not to punish us,
But to help us meet "tomorrow."

For growing trees are strengthened
When they withstand the storm;
And the sharp cut of the chisel
Gives the marble grace and form.

God never hurts us needlessly,
And He never wastes our pain;
For every loss He sends to us
Is followed by rich gain.

And when we count the blessings
That God has so freely sent;
We will find no cause for murmuring
And no time to lament.

For Our Father loves His children,
And to Him all things are plain;
So He never sends us "pleasure"
When the "soul's deep need is pain."

So whenever we are troubled,
And when everything goes wrong,
It is just God working in us
To make "our spirits strong."

by Helen Steiner Rice

Hebrews 12:5-11 " And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. "

Proverbs 3: 11-12 " My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom He delighteth. "

Luke 11:11-13 " If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him? "

" I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. " Sigmund Freud

Family Environments

	Negative Family Atmospheres
	Positive Family Atmospheres

This article is presented as a public service. Hopefully you will find it useful, and interesting.

There is no perfect family, and there are no perfect parents. We all make mistakes. None of us human beings are perfect. So please do not expect perfection. Let us be realistic and practical.

It is well known that the family is by far the most important factor, which shapes our perceptions and attitudes. You cannot understand yourself and others without taking into account the kind of family environment you were exposed to.

Caveat - Just because you may live in or have grown up in some, or many of these environments, this doesn't automatically mean you will, or have developed all the various perceptions and attitudes mentioned here. We are talking in general terms. People are complex creatures. Remember also that once we grow up and can make our own decisions, we can change. We are not helpless victims of the negative environments we have been exposed to. However, when we are small and vulnerable, with no experience, and virtually no control over our lives, we definitely are enormously influenced by the family atmospheres we have been exposed to, whether they have been positive or negative.

Negative Family Environments

Political Atmosphere. Power struggles within the family - children often used as pawns.
Complaining Atmosphere.
Indifferent family atmosphere. Unstimulating and dull.
Domination by father of mother and children. Oppressive and suppressive, stifling environment. Weak father who feels he must dominate.
Fear and anxiety.
Criticism.
Just viewing family and children as symbols of status.
Over- indulgence by parents of children.
Anger, hostility and dislike.
Atmosphere of total submissions by wife. Wife battering and abuse.
Kill-joy atmosphere.
Manipulation of father by wife and children.
In-law domination.
Lack of interest in the family by the father.
Drug and alcohol abuse in the home.
A broken culture.
Chronic unemployment, underemployment or welfare dependency.
Inadequate housing.
Excessive indebtedness.
Isolation (from extended family or society in general).
Poor nutrition.
Sedentary lifestyle.
Living in a crime ridden, unsafe community.
Lack of an opportunity for an education.

Negative Family Environment

1. Political atmosphere where father and mother use children as pawns in their power struggles and sexual games. The family is a political arena and husband and wife are involved in sexual politics. They are struggling for power in the family through political means. Children are used as pawns in the political maneuvering. One parent may try to get on the good side of the child to turn them against the other parent. The family becomes fragmented and divided and is just an arena for the playing of political games.

Attitudes and perceptions - children may easily learn to be dishonest and deceitful. The family and individual members of it are viewed as just something or someone to be manipulated. Children take the point of view that a wife or husband is just someone to be manipulated. Children get the idea that they will never be able to get what they want through being honest and open so they resort to politics. Little girls get the idea in their head that to get what they want all they need to do is manipulate people.

2. Complaining Atmosphere. One of the spouses is a complainer. There usually seems to be something wrong with their health and they seem to be sick a lot. The family very often hears the persons grumbling about how this hurts and that aches. The family finds it very difficult to be happy, because they are always subject to the miserable complaints of one of the parents. A gloomy cloud descends over the family like a thick blanket.

	The attitudes that result from living in such an environment is that a person usually sees the dark and gloomy side of everything. They hear the bad news, but ignore the good.
	They feel that nothing is going to turn out all right.
	Children develop a pessimistic outlook of the world and themselves.
	They also get the impression that nothing that they will ever do is going to please others.
	They feel that people will never be satisfied with anything they do.
	People take a " what's the use " attitude and think that there is no point in doing this or that, because it never will be good enough, so why bother.

3. Indifferent Family Environment. Unstimulating and dull. Husband and wife just go through the routine of marriage. No one really cares too much about anyone. Children can usually come and go as they please and do whatever they like. In the evening the family sits down and watches TV. No one cares much about what the other thinks, and don't want to be bothered. Marriage is just seen as a dull meal with the dessert first.

	Children can easily get the feeling that they have just been turned out to pasture and no one really cares about them.
	Children lack stimulation and may feel that they can't have any influence in the world, because no one will listen to them.
	Children develop a dull attitude and tend to withdraw from contact with others.

4. Atmosphere of domination by father of the wife and children. Father is essentially a weak man so has no confidence in his ability to inspire love and loyalty. Therefore he feels he must dominate the whole family. Any initiative shown by the wife or children is suppressed and so the family atmosphere is a stifling and oppressive one.

	Boys take the attitude that men must dominate, and that is what it means to be a man.
	Girls get the idea that woman can never run things, and men must always be in control.
	Children develop inferiority complexes and feel that they are not capable of doing anything.
	The kids may feel afraid of father and develop a cold attitude towards him.

5. Atmosphere of fear and anxiety. One of the mates is a worrier and the other can very easily catch the habit from them (it is quite contagious). The man and woman are usually worried that the worse is going to happen or total disaster is just around the corner. If one course of action is taken they then may worry whether it might be wrong and maybe they should have done something else. The atmosphere is one of fearfulness and concern that whatever is done it won't turn out good anyways.

	Children are in a state of anxiety and feel that there is always something wrong with them.
	They perceive a world that does not exist except in their minds, because they worry over things which usually never happen.
	Children develop an attitude of indecisiveness.
	Family members exhibit the manner or habits of being unsure of themselves.
	Children develop a deep seated feeling of insecurity.

6. Atmosphere of Criticism. One of the parents starts it and it easily spreads to the other. Then the children easily pick it up and then most everyone gets involved in criticizing everyone. This is no good and that is no good - nothing or nobody is any good - most of the time. Sometimes relatives import the criticism when they do not think one of the mates is any good. Words are used to tear others in the family down. The family members get involved in judging the others characters and personalities, rather than speaking to the situation. This boy is stupid or this husband is clumsy and the wife is lazy or the girl is messy and on and on it goes. There is constant unhappiness for everyone.

	Children form a sensitive attitude towards criticism and may become belligerent and aggressive with anyone who criticizes them.
	Criticism is seen to be all negative and people fail to realize that there is such a thing as constructive criticism.
	The kids will take the approach of not asking people for advice, because of fear of receiving criticism for asking.
	Family members may take the point of view that there is no point in getting involved with people or doing things for them because they probably will just be criticized for it.
	Initiative will be stifled and the point of view will be that there is no use in trying anything, because people will just jump all over your back.
	Family members may take the point of view and attitude of not offering advice or constructive criticism to others. They may believe that anything they say will not be listened to, and they will just be criticized for offering advice.
	Children can easily develop the attitude that they are stupid and no good and may develop an inferiority complex.

7. Atmosphere of just seeing the family as a symbol of status. Husband or wife or both are only interested in how the family can enhance their status in society. A husband is just someone to have so the wife can have social status among her friends. The husband may also just see the wife as something that he should have, because most everyone else has one and he does not want to be left out. The mate is only seen as a means to an end, which is increased status in the group. Children are just something that most everyone has and they should have a couple to be like the others. They are not valued for themselves, but are valued in that they increase the status of the parents.

	Children might feel that much pressure is placed upon them to do well and to be the best in school or to win at sports.
	They may feel that the parents do not really care for them as persons and that they are just being used.
	The children may feel trapped, bored and smothered by the family, and feel blocked in doing what they really would like to do. They may take the attitude of always trying to please others.
	The children can easily develop the attitude of unquestioning loyalty to the family and fail to develop their own critical faculties and fail to view their family objectively.

8. Atmosphere of over-indulgence of children. Mom and Dad take great pleasure in working for and caring for their children. They love to do things for them and love to see them happy and laughing. They take great pleasure in their small children especially in the ages 3-5 or so, because kids at that age are very charming and are a great source of satisfaction and pleasure for the parents. They take great enjoyment out of giving them what they need and keeping them happy and smiling. However parents fail to prepare the children for their adult lives. They want them to be always children and a continual source of pleasure for them. Children are not prepared for when they are on their own and need to depend on their own resources.

	Children develop the attitude that they can get what they want by whining, crying or throwing a temper tantrum.
	When they grow up their attitude may be that the world owns them a living.
	Children easily take the attitude that every appetite should be satisfied and so fail to develop self-discipline over their appetites.
	Children take the viewpoint of always looking to others to give them what they need, so have a hard time learning how to take care of themselves. They have a difficult time learning to earn things on their own.

9. Atmosphere of anger, hostility and dislike. Father and mother do not like each other, but stay together for the children's sake or for some other reason. The children soon learn to dislike each other. Nobody feels wanted or needed and desirable for their own selves. There are frequent arguments and shouting matches. The family is mostly just a battle ground. Everyone is usually fighting with everyone else and there is little affection, because the parents don't get along, because they hate each other.

	Children exposed to such and atmosphere may come to believe it is better to stay single than be married, because marriage to them is just a battleground.
	Children may develop a bad attitude towards marriage.
	Children can develop an inferiority complex and feel that they are stupid.
	Kids can take the position of dislike towards others and not developing a loving attitude towards others.
	Children take the point of view that very few in the world care for anybody. Almost no one cares for them and it is a cold, heartless and cruel world, is the approach taken.
	They also begin to always see the bad side and ignore the good side.
	The child who grows up in this sort of family environment will take the position that the way to solve interpersonal problems is to resort to anger. They feel that problems can be resolved through fighting.
	A person may also feel that if only they were not so ugly, stupid or did not eat so much that then mom and dad would like them.
	Children growing up in this environment may not develop the proper attitude towards sex. They are ideal candidates in later years for homosexuality, prostitution, or other sexual maladjustments. They may feel that no one loves them and they are not desirable of and by themselves.
	Boys from this environment when grown up are high risk candidates for such crimes of violence against women such as rape or wife-battering and also child battering. Since they were from such an unloving home where there was little else but anger, fighting and dislike they may not feel they are desirable of and by themselves. They can easily take the attitude that no women loves them for what they are, so to get what they need they must resort to fighting and violence.

10. Atmosphere of total submissiveness by wife and wife battering and abuse. She submits herself to abuse by her man and he beats her up and curses her. She does not leave and is too weak to put up any resistance. The wife is too weak and helpless and feels she must put up with the situation, because she can't make it on her own. The husband meets with no resistance and so increases his sadistic actions toward her - the relationship is a sadomasochistic one. The husband is a weak man who soothes his inferiority complex by hurting those even weaker than himself. She has no self-respect and the husband takes advantage of this.

	Little girls grow up with the attitude that all men are beasts and no good.
	Little boys grow up with the attitude that women are stupid and good for nothing .They take the position that all women are helpless and need to be dominated.
	Children take the point of view that there are only two kinds of people in the world - the strong and the weak and there can be no such thing as love, or cooperation or equality among people.

11. Kill - joy atmosphere where everything is gloomy. The parents are pessimists and usually see the dreary side of life. Death and funerals or accidents are brought up in conversations. They dwell upon how bad things are always happening and how the world is going to hell. They hardly ever expect anything good to happen. A dark and gloomy cloud hangs over the family like a blanket of fog over a cemetery. There is little humor or happiness in the home, and if someone try's to bring some sunshine in they are rebuffed.

	Children develop a pessimistic attitude and have a gloomy air about them. They have no sparkle or shine about them.
	Children do not develop a sense of humor, because everything is just too gloomy.
	Children take the point of view that the world is an unhappy place and always will be and there is nothing that can be done about it.
	Children feel that they must never say anything pleasant or cheerful, because mom and dad don't like to hear good news.
	People exposed to such an atmosphere come up with a " what's the use " approach because they feel that there is no use in doing this or that or trying anything, because things will just turn out bad.
	Children will be in a state of shock and disbelief when good things happen to them.
	People who grow up in such homes will be very susceptible to such things as alcoholism or drug addiction in later life. They will look to alcohol or drugs to give them a high to remove the gloominess.
	Children will take the attitude of not expecting too much out of life. They will have very low expectations and will readily accept a dull and mediocre situation.
	Children from such homes often take the point of view of downplaying the good things which happen in their lives. They undervalue the good things, because their families did not value these. No matter how good or successful they may be they will usually underplay it.
	Children can develop the attitude of being embarrassed or ashamed at expressing joy and cheerfulness. They will not learn how to express their emotions effectively. They will take the position of deliberately suppressing emotion.
	Children from such a home may feel that they are not worthy of experiencing joy or pleasure. Pleasure is for others and they feel they are not good enough to experience it.

12. Atmosphere of manipulation of the husband by the wife and children. He is just being used and works like a slave and then comes home and has to work there too. There is no end to all his labour. She collects the money, pays the bills and gives him an allowance, and decides how to spend the rest of the money. She may fool around on the side with other men, when he is out working. She manipulates him by playing sexual politics. When he begins to object and complain about his lot, she threatens to leave or denies him sex. She may also may begin to complain and nag until he finally gives in to her desires. The children just see him as a source of money and hardly even talk to him. He has an unrealistic nosy picture of others and may be caught up in an endless treadmill of work, work, work.

	Children view family as being there to satisfy them physically and that is all. They take the position that there is nothing they have to do to build up the family or contribute.
	Children get the idea that there is no such a thing as the authority of the father. They will not even recognize the authority of the father and the concept of loving discipline exercised by dad will be foreign to them.
	Children grow up and have a hard time taking care of themselves, so look for someone to manipulate to give them what they need.
	Children can easily view woman as being mean and unfaithful.
	When kids grow up they may feel that all men are easy to trick. Therefore they will be easy prey for unscrupulous, manipulative men. They will have the idea that all men are honest and hard working. They will unprepared to survive in the real deceitful world.
	Children take the point of view that sex can be used as a political tool and used to get what they want.
	Little girls when grown may take the attitude that all they have to do to get what they need from men is to stand there and look pretty. Just smile, be charming, put on make-up or jewelry and wear nice clothes and that is all she needs to do or know.
	Little boys when grown may have the idea that women are not to be trusted and so they will find it very difficult to entrust themselves to any women.
	Little girls from such an environment are candidates for prostitution when older. The reason for this is that they will have seen how their mother was mean and unfaithful. She used sex as a political tool and the daughter will have seen this. So the little girl may have gotten the idea that sex is dirty - something filthy and unclean. So to fulfill her sexual needs when a young women she may easily turn to prostitution, because sex in her mind is dirty. To gain sexual satisfaction she turns to prostitution. Sex in marriage is clean, but she does not see sex as being pure and clean.
	Boys when grown may also be ready candidates to frequent prostitutes, because they easily come to the point of view that sex is dirty.

Positive Family Environments

Stable atmosphere, husband and wife are stable characters.
Simplicity in living and enjoyment.
Atmosphere of reasonable firm discipline of children and accepting by wife of husbands authority.
Turning defeats into victories.
Mutual enjoyment.
Kindly cheerfulness.
Family enterprise (doing things together).
Love and affection.
Instilling confidence into family members.
Openness, honesty and honest expression of feelings and atmosphere of understanding and mutual support. Good communications.
Productivity and creativity. An atmosphere where each can live and grow as a human being. An environment conducive to growth.
Attach the family to the human enterprise.
Peace and quiet.
Privacy.
Support from extended family.
Financial needs met.
Opportunity to get together for regular family reunions.
Firm cultural foundation - knowledge in ones culture.
Adequate housing that meets the families needs.
Childcare supports (for smaller children).
Good nutrition.
Living in a safe and secure environment.
Opportunity for education of children.
Contact with nature and getting enough exercise and outdoor activities.

1. Atmosphere of Stability. The family is God centered, and God never changes and is faithful to keep His promises, and is a solid rock and foundation upon which to build ones family and life.

The man is a stable character and builds his life around God and Jesus Christ. He looks to God for leadership and guidance, because he realizes he can't do it by himself. He realizes that he does not have the wisdom and knowledge and strength to do it by himself. So he builds his life and his home and family around God.

He chooses a woman for his wife who is willing to respect his leadership and follow God along with him. She supports him and is a faithful, loyal wife. She realizes that a house without God cannot stand.

The husband teaches wife and children about God and Christ. He teaches the children to follow God's ways. The family is God centered and built and orientated around God. The family knows that God is strong and stable and always there so they look to Him to help them do what they need to do.

Influences

	The attitudes engendered in the family subject to this atmosphere will be one of faith, dependence and reliance upon God. The husband will develop the attitude of trust in God and obedience to Him.
	The wife will take the position of trust in God and take the position of being willing and happy to follow her husband.
	The children will develop an attitude of honouring their parents and obeying them. The children will take the attitude that God's ways are good and right, and for their own benefit. They will come to see that God supports the authority of the Father in the home.
	Family members will come to see for a stable home the key is a Father who loves God and puts his ways into practice in his life. This will instill in wife and children a desire to love God and follow his ways.

2. Atmosphere of simplicity in living and enjoyment. Husband and wife have learned the art of enjoyment. They take pleasure in the little things and enjoy themselves in the here and now. Material goods are seen as a means to end, not ends in themselves.

Material goods are seen as a means to an end and not ends in themselves. Material goods will not be viewed as sources of happiness. The children will have the idea that more and more money does not mean a better life.

3. Atmosphere of respect or authority of husband by wife and children. Wife is supportive of husband's authority. They discipline the children in a reasonable firm manner. There are clear guidelines and a chain of authority and the children are expected to follow the guidelines.

Attitude will be that rules are for our own good. Authority and discipline will be viewed as being there to help children and give them clear direction. Children will know what is expected of them. They will know what is the proper behavior and not be in a state of confusion. Discipline will be viewed as being necessary to maintain order and peace.

4. Atmosphere of turning defeats into victories. When things don't turn out as expected the parents will not allow this to get them down. They will look for alternatives and not allow bad circumstances to control the day.

Attitude will develop that we need to be flexible and adaptable. Family members will look at defeats from a different point of view and realize that they do not mean the end of the world.

5. Atmosphere of mutual enjoyment. Mom and Dad have the idea that family living is a series of mutual enjoyments. They make it a point to see that life is enjoyed here and now. They enjoy their family at the present moment and don't postpone pleasure.

Children develop the attitude that the family is a place where people are happy. The family will be viewed with affection. So the children will usually want to go out and establish a home when they grow up, because there are many good rewards such as enjoyment.

6. Atmosphere of kindly cheerfulness. Dad and Mom make it a point to be cheerful and help lift up those who are down. If someone is down due to some outside factor then the family can come and try to help them understand their situation and help them get over it or understand the situation as best as they can.

Mom and Dad and children develop a cheerful disposition.

7. Atmosphere of developing the family enterprise. Father and Mother work to get everyone involved in building up the family. Everyone has their role to play and their personal responsibility. The family makes a point to do things together such as playing games, or camping or joining with other families in group activities. They go for walks together or work on projects together.

A co-operative attitude develops. Kids learn responsibility and doing their share.

8. Atmosphere of love and affection. The husband and wife really love each other and embrace and hug each other often. There is a good physical relationship between them and this is very obvious to the children. Parents touch their children affectionately and no one is left out.

Children will develop the attitude that sex is good from seeing how much their parents love each other. They will also have a good attitude towards touching. Touching will be viewed as a means of expressing affection.

9. Atmosphere of instilling confidence into its members. Father is capable and able and knows what he is doing. He realizes that to have confidence you need to know what you are doing. Mother knows what it takes to be wife and mother. She realizes that being a capable parent or a good person is not a question of luck, but proper education and training and application of principles. Both partners know what to do and how to be capable and able parents.

Children will pick up that attitude from Dad and Mom. They will model themselves after their parents. The children will come to the point of view that to have confidence you need to know what to do and how to do it.

10. Atmosphere of openness and honest expression of feelings between husband and wife. They communicate effectively and are able to listen to what the other is saying. The lines are open and so feelings are not allowed to build up. Instead of keeping everything inside they are able to make known how they feel before they blow up. Through effective communications the husband and wife are able to avoid loud and outrageous bursts of emotion. The children are communicated to in the same manner.

Children learn that misunderstandings and misinterpretations can be avoided through effective communications. They also develop the point of view that there are always two sides to every story.

11. Atmosphere of productivity and creativity. Where each can live and grow as a human being - an atmosphere conducive to growth. Mom and Dad are interested in growing as human beings. They see the opportunities of being husband and wife, father and mother, as a chance to grow, learn and explore.

	Attitude engendered will be one of curiosity and willingness to explore oneself and others and the world.
	Children will have the point of view that education and growth never end.
	They will take the position that the family is a productive and creative arena in which they can express their powers and abilities.

12. Atmosphere of attaching the family to the human enterprise. Mom and Dad are involved in the world around them. They are aware of the larger community and take an active interest. They realize that the family is just a small part of the larger community and of the family of man.

The attitude that children develop is one of social conscience. They begin to perceive that they are not isolated, but a very important part of the community at large and are able to contribute to the larger community. They come to see that what happens to others affects them.

Your feedback concerning this article would be appreciated.

Tel. (403) 274-5253 E-mail P.O. Box 475 Stn. Main Calgary, Alberta T2P-2J1

What Is A Real Man ?

Twelve major characteristics of a real man.

1. A man who puts God and Jesus Christ first in their lives, and who is God centered.

2. A real man is in touch with their feelings, and is able to express and communicate their feelings effectively.

3. A real man won't abuse his wife. He will love his wife and remain committed to her.

4. A real man loves children, and is actively involved in the nurturing and disciplining of his children.

5. A real man does not bully and dominate his family, but instead serves his family.

6. A real man fights against unfairness and injustice.

7. A real man realizes that smoking, drinking too much, and swearing are bad habits. He doesn't consider these things to be masculine matters - that he must do to be considered a man. Instead he views these things to be nasty destructive habits.

8. A real man isn't a macho man, who thinks he must take advantage of women to be considered a man.

9. A real man isn't embarrassed or ashamed to share the household duties with his wife, and changing diapers is no big deal.

10. A real man expects his children to honour, respect and obey their parents. A real man isn't afraid to discipline his children, and spank them if needed.

11. A real man is the head of the home, and is able to instill respect in his wife and kids. He is able to inspire love and loyalty in his family. He has the attitude of service - not domination.

12. A real man is concerned about practical matters. Working and earning ones living is important.

But a real man realizes spiritual matters are more important. Our physical lives are very short and temporary. The things of the spirit and character will go on forever - as long as we have God and Jesus Christ as the center of our lives. Then our work will not be in vain, and we won't spend our lives chasing the wind.

Sex

1. God is the author of sex, not the devil.

Sex is not evil or dirty - but good, if done for the right reasons and at the right time, with the right person.

2. Sex isn't just for reproduction, but is for pleasure also.

3. For health reasons and for safety, sex should be restricted to a committed relationship, between consenting adults and between a man and woman. The preferred relationship is marriage. Those who live common-law are married even though they may not want to admit it.

4. Sex is not the most important thing in life.

5. People have different appetites as far as sex is concerned. Some seem to need it more than others. Therefore the frequency and intensity of sexual encounters between a consenting man and woman will vary.

6. If the woman is still menstruating then couples should realize that any sexual intercourse may result in pregnancy.

So if a child is not wanted at that time then there are various things that can be done - like for the woman to take birth control pills, the man using a condom, IUDs, or perhaps following the rhythm method. There are choices for couples who want to avoid pregnancy.

7. Sex is not for children, but children are curious and no doubt will do all kinds of experimentations with and among themselves. Parents need to be aware of what their children are up to, and where they are and who they are with.

8. Some people mature sexually more quickly than others.

9. One must be careful to respect the laws of the land as far as sex is concerned. If you don't then you could very easily end up with serious charges laid against you, or even end up in jail.

Various countries have different laws and regulations regarding these matters. The laws that exist in your own country on sexual matters, may differ if you are on vacation in some other land.

10. There is a myth that homosexual relations are safe, normal and healthy. In reality homosexual relations are dangerous, unhealthy and unnatural.

11. Sex is very much dependent upon the man's degree of sexual potency.

Like the work weary, exhausted husband said to his amorous wife while in bed - " Well, if you can't wait then start without me. "

Male sexual potency can be increased through a number of means, like for example the man being physically fit and healthy, avoiding alcohol, not being obese and not being overtired.

12. There are various myths about sex that should be dispelled.

Twelve common myths about sex.

That you can't do it when you are old.
Sex is just something young people should do.
That sex is only for reproduction.
Sex is the end all and be all of life.
A healthy man needs some sort of artificial stimulation to get an erection.
You can't do it when the woman is pregnant.
Myth that sex is dirty and unclean.
Myth that masturbation is dangerous and will cause serious psychological problems.
Myth that prostitution is safe, harmless and glamorous. The reality is that prostitution is a dangerous and unhealthy occupation. As well pimps are often involved, and pimps are abusers of women. Additionally men who frequent prostitutes have a higher risk of contracting various sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), like aids.
Myth that pornography has something to do with sex. It really has nothing much to do with sex, since it is all about money, selling things, and exploiting women to make money.
Myth that polygamy is something natural and most men are naturally polygamous.
And finally let us debunk some more sexual myths - that dark haired or dark skinned men are more sexually potent, and light skinned or blond women are more feminine, or more sexy. All pure stereotypical myths.

Abortion

When does human life begin ? There is all kinds of information on this subject. This is no great secret these days, since we have such tremendous advances in scientific knowledge. The knowledge about when human life begins is easily available to adult Canadians. Just go over the internet, or look it up in the Encyclopedia, or perhaps look on your own bookshelf.

A baby begins when the sperm cell called spermatozoon penetrates a woman's egg. This is called conception or fertilization. This happens in the woman's Fallopian tube. The egg is released from the ovary. The ripe egg or ovum, passes through the Fallopian tube or oviduct.

Sperm cells (from the man after sexual intercourse and ejaculation) traveling in the other direction, from the vagina into the uterus, meet the egg in the oviduct, or Fallopian tube. Fertilization of the egg by the sperm probably takes place within 24 hours of the release of the egg (by the way the woman's egg is about the size of the period at the end of this sentence, but sperms are much smaller). Sperms look like little tadpoles, and they swim in search of the egg. The fastest and most accurate little swimmer gets the prize.

The sperm then penetrates the egg. Then the surface of the egg suddenly changes, and hardens, so other sperm cells can't get in. She only needs one sperm cell. The other millions of sperms were just too slow and are out of luck.

The ovum or egg has 23 chromosomes, and the sperm cell has 23 chromosomes. When the two meet at fertilization or conception, the egg and sperm join together to form a full complement of 46 chromosomes. A new unique one celled individual has thus been created, since these 46 chromosomes determine that persons inheritance, and direct its growth and development.

Right then and there at conception so many things are already determined. Hair color, skin color, inherited dispositions, body shape, eye color, sex, inherited strengths and weaknesses and so, so many other things.

The now fertilized egg, or ovum is swept along by contractions of the oviduct, and the activity of little hairs lining the tube. The egg is slowly propelled to the uterus - apparently it takes about four days.

The little egg starts dividing and growing and is called an embryo. This embryo grows out little root like projections into the lining of the uterus. There it becomes attached and is then able to receive nourishment from the mother through the placenta, which is a creation of the embryo.

At any time during these early stages of fertilization, and pregnancy something natural could go wrong and the new tiny life can be naturally aborted. This happens sometimes in the very early stages.

The scientific evidence suggests very strongly that human life begins at conception. This is because the 23 chromosomes of the sperm combine with the 23 chromosomes of the egg to give the complete 46 chromosomes that make up a unique individual. The fertilized cell then starts growing and dividing, and continues on until the person is ready to be born. Of course at any time during this period something natural may occur, which causes the woman to miscarriage. This is a natural abortion. It is different from an induced abortion, where humans interfere in the pregnancy.

It is true that for the fertilized egg to survive, it must attack itself to the uterus wall. Some might therefore argue that human life really begins when the embryo implants in the uterus (which occur about four days or so after fertilization). I do not think that argument is valid, since an unfertilized egg won't attach itself to the uterus. So it must be fertilized at conception first, before it can even have the chance to attack itself or implant itself in the uterus.

So enough with the scientific evidence, which is overwhelmingly in favor of human life beginning at conception. Let us talk about the birth of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ began His human life here on earth, not at birth, but at conception.

Matthew 1:18-25 " Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily. But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins. Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us. Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife: And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS. "

Luke 1:24-35 " And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary. And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women. And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be. And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end. Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man? And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost (Spirit) shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God. "

Jesus' life on earth did not begin at birth, it began at conception in Mary's womb. He grew up in Mary's womb like any other human being - the full nine months.

Since Christ's life on earth began at conception, then isn't it the same for us all ? Certainly it is.

I rest my case.

" Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love, but to use violence to get what they want. That is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion."

" Any country that accepts abortion is the poorest of the poor. "

quotes by Mother Teresa - Catholic Nun - 1910-1997

" My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."

Socrates (470-399 B.C.)

Telephone (403) 274-5253 E-mail 11/16/2009

Mailing Address: Ray Wegner P.O. Box 475 Stn. Main Calgary, Alberta T2P-2J1

Guarantee of Rights and Freedoms and Fundamental Freedoms (from the Canadian Constitution) " The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees the rights and freedoms set out in it subject only to such reasonable limits prescribed by law as can be demonstrably justified in a free and democratic society. Everyone has the following fundamental freedoms: (a) freedom of conscience and religion; (b) freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication; (c) freedom of peaceful assembly; and (d) freedom of association. "

Readers are encouraged to point out biblical errors in all of my material and writings on spiritual matters. If you can find scriptural errors in my teachings - teachings that cannot be backed up by hard, concrete biblical doctrine - then I will gladly accept the constructive criticism and make the changes needed. So please go ahead and point out my mistakes, but your criticism must not be based on mere opinion, but must be able to be proved from the Bible.

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